The other day before I got all distracted by science, bosons and invisible spiders I mentioned that I had recently spent some time pondering exactly what sort of policies I would find more palatable at the polling station. Anything would be a nice change of pace from the current debate over exactly what type of knee-pads would be the best to wear as big-business salty shaft is lolling on our collective tongue. Well I actually have a fair number of policies I think would make this country a better place, some might work some ma well be bollocks but then I'm not actually a politician, I have morals. So without further ado let's run through them.
Ban tax-havens. Obviously that's not something you can deal with at a national level... except of course that it very much is. If any company wants to do it's business in this country and it's based in a tax-haven they can either transfer it's base to the UK and pay all their tax here or pay a flat 40% on all profits made in the UK. Those are your options, stop being a greedy dick and pay your way or fuck off and make nothing. On a related note tax evasion would be punished with each £100 avoided would equal day in prison. These measures would plug up the gap in funding the UK's welfare state with complete ease. I'd also cut the amount of money required to run the most of the countries infrastructure by introducing national service. Not military national service, unless that's the option you want to choose. I'd just like to see an extra year added on to the education system regardless of whether you choose to leave at sixteen, eighteen. This work-force would be put to work in hospitals, nature reserves and where-ever charities and the like need man-power but also to help with science.
Brian Cox recently pointed out that in one year of economic bail-outs the UK government gave the banks more money than we've spent on science since Jesus. I'd want to see that figure increased to approximately 15% of total government spending. This is easily achievable by simply relinquishing our position as Americas side-kick. If someone else wants to jump in and make themselves a target for fundamentalist Muslim terrorists feel free. Britain worked very hard to make sure we had a dog in every fight for the last thousand years it's about time we sat a few turns out. I don't want us to rid ourselves of our navy and he like rather use those resources as tools to further this nations scientific advancement.
In the global economy every country needs a niche and I feel that the UK has an unique place in the history of science and should therefore be focusing on making ourselves a big part of the future of science. The benefits to our nation would be immeasurable. We would attract the brightest minds in science from across the globe resulting in huge leaps forward in our infrastructure, healthcare, defence and overall quality of life. The idea would be to spark a new wave of high-tech manufacturing industry in this country as well, meaning a drop in unemployment. China is a great place to get you're lead painted toys made but the UK would be a better place to get your hydrogen fuel cells. Now onto some other random bits and pieces.
I want the National Curriculum to include gardening. Seriously everyone should be able to grow their own fruit and vegetable, it'd be a great solace in tough economic times to know that you wouldn't be going hungry. Also give everyone in school the same level of basic medical training as you give to the army. I want more spending on the police-force but not on more police I want better training and equipment. If you're a police constable in the UK I want you to be a trained MMA fighter, covered with gadgets and constantly plugged into a central super-computer... basically I want all coppers to be low-level Batmen. I want a one time huge cash injection into the BBC for the specific purpose of getting the entire BBC back-catalouge available on iPlayer, I'm including all news in that, it'd make a great educational resource. More public artworks. More benches. Allow people to sell organs, their my organs if I want to sell one to a rich guy I see no-reason why I shouldn't be allowed to.
Another thing I'd like to see is a massive reinvestment in libraries. Turn them into what the fucking well should be. Get rid of all the fusty quiet rooms and make places that have the books, sell coffee, have spaces give over to making stuff throw in decent computer labs with a half sensible porn filter and you have a space that might attract young people. Hell whack a skate-park on the outside and you've gotten a massive chunk of 'youths' off the street. How about an online bill of rights so that I don't have to e-mail my MP once a year to protest against the latest attempt by the entertainment industry to destroy the internet to protect their out-dated business model.
I genuinely could go on for ages here but it's occurred to me that it might be worth actually writing up into some sort manifesto for a genuine alternative to the current system... I might actually consider making it as a DRM free e-book and attempt to create an open-source political party. That idea is not as mental as I first thought actually. This has a real possibility of actually turning into a genuine thing... hmmmm.
eddie <providing political ideas without political leadership>