Monday 2 January 2012

Being Awesome; Part 1

So we once again find ourselves at the beginning of a new collection of months, I'm led to understand that there will in fact be the usual twelve even if the Mayans were correct... although I doubt the predictive ability of any civilisation that has ceased to exist.

They started building this is 1400 and left by 1500... seems
like a waste of time for people who can see the future.

However picking holes in what will be, approximately, my ninth apocalypse is a blog for another day... probably the day after it fails to happen. Instead of focussing on the distant future, or lack thereof, I'd like to focus on the now. It is traditional around this time of year to make various sweeping statements about the things about ourselves that we don't like. “I've always hated my life, but not enough to do anything about it prior to an arbitrary date change.” Now I'm not against making positive changes to ones life if you are worried about your health, social life or the amount of Adele you're listening to then by all means try and fix it.

"What's wrong with listening to '21' on loop for 5 hours?"

Also the beginning of a New Year is actually a fairly reasonable time to make these changes... not because of any real importance of the date but rather because the importance that we've invested in it makes the two months before a non-stop round of preparation and parties. In fact I have only one problem with New Years Resolutions... you made the wrong ones.

Shocking, isn't it.

Everyone's life is different and as such everyone has different goals and things they wish to achieve, right? Well, no, actually. There is a single resolution that everyone should make, it will improve your life, the lives of those around you and the world in general.

Be More Awesome.

That's it. Seems simple right. Look every single resolution ever made ever has been working towards this goal. No-one has ever made a resolution to make their life actively worse. Now I understand that some of you have probably made specific resolutions that work towards a very clear goal and the vagueness of this approach may not ring true for you. So let's imagine that you've decided to lose say 5lbs a month, don't shoot for more than that it's pretty dangerous, it all goes well and you end up at your ideal weight around the middle of the year. Well done unfortunately you're still a cunt.

Does this even really need a caption?

I'm sorry were you labouring under the impression that other than a little extra weight you were perfect. Sorry to shatter that illusion. Human beings are by definition not perfect, you will not attain perfection by fixing your flaws. However I've met plenty of awesome people... that's an achievable goal. It's also more pervasive. It affects literally everything you ever say or do, before every action you take just think whether or not it's awesome or not... you're aiming at anything between neutral and awesome. How will this help you lose weight, quit smoking or stop beating your children? Simple, none of the activities that you want to halt fall under the auspices of being awesome.

Just imagine Neil Patrick Harris is judging everything you do

It's only the second day of the year, I've already started blogging again, quit smoking cut back on the drinking and looked into taking archery lessons. I'll be learning to drive and learning another language... probably sign and joining the gym... and going to it, throwing money away on something you don't use is not awesome. Now all I need to do is kick my Adele addiction and this will be a good year.

If loving Adele is wrong then I don't want to be right

I'm going to try to make my first post of each week, usually Sunday, an update on this philosophy and how it's working out to prove that it's easy to be awesome.

eddie <slightly more awesome today than yesterday>

No comments:

Post a Comment